My favorite U2 songs:  One, With or without you, Vertigo, I still haven't found what I'm looking for, Beautify Day, Pride

 

 

Anyways...  The crazy last month of weddings and traveling is now behind.   Still, I had to miss one wedding:(  Timing doesn't always play out.  Best wishes to the 3 happy couples that got married, to my dear old friends, and to friends that I didn't get to see.  I am very happy that a good friend of mine burned me a CD with latest TW pop songs...  I haven't listened to those in a very long time and really enjoyed it.  Next up is U2 concert!!!  

 

 

I love food...  Restaurant week is one of the best promotional event invented in the history of human-kind.  I started taking advantage of restaurant weeks since Feb's LA Restaurant Week's Asian de Cuba, then last month's OC Restaurant Week, and now the LA Restaurant Week again.  We went to Craft tonight, a restaurant owned by one of the top chefs.  It sure did not disappoint.  The menu was simple, salad, sirloin steak, and salted chocolate bar, but they were able to make plain dishes tasteful and delicate.  The 35-day dry aged Sirloin was perfectly medium rare and flavorful.  Fusion and exotic dishes are great, but I do appreciate the superior cooking skills demonstrated in dishes also offered in most restaurants, like how the true freshness/taste of fish is more prevalent in sashimi/sushi than in specailty rolls. 

 

However, it was a weird night...  We ran into the movie set of "Inception," a new Christopher Nolan film under the fake name of "Oliver's Arrow," in the same building where the restaurant is.  Believe it or not, I have never run into a movie set although I live close to Tinseltown.  What are the chances...  Then at the end of the night, I went to the ladies room before we left for the car.  I took one more minute to search for my eye drop then walked out the door to the front where my friends were waiting.  I walked directly into this guy walking into the door whom I met with a coule friends in the last Restaurant week.  He asked me out, but I never called him back.  It was the most awkward moment in my life.  This is so coincidential because one minute earlier or later I would have avoided this awkward moment.  Not to mention there were so many restaurants to choose from plus it could be any other night.   All this is meaningless but very "random."

 

I have been spending most of my time on...

Colonial Manners

Based on the Exercise of a Schoolboy*

George Washington, sometime before the age of 16, transcribed Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation. (Original errors in numbering have been corrected; original spelling is unchanged.)

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1st Every Action done in Company, ought to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that are Present.

2d When in Company, put not your Hands to any Part of the Body, not usualy Discovered.

3d Shew Nothing to your Freind that may affright him.

4th In the Presence of Others Sing not to yourself with a humming Noise, nor Drum with your Fingers or Feet.

5th If You Cough, Sneeze, Sigh, or Yawn, do it not Loud but Privately; and Speak not in your Yawning, but put Your handkercheif or Hand before your face and turn aside.

6th Sleep not when others Speak, Sit not when others stand, Speak not when you Should hold your Peace, walk not on when others Stop.

7th Put not off your Cloths in the presence of Others, nor go out your Chamber half Drest.

8th At Play and at Fire its Good manners to Give Place to the last Commer, and affect not to Speak Louder than Ordinary.

9th Spit not in the Fire, nor Stoop low before it neither Put your Hands into the Flames to warm them, nor Set your Feet upon the Fire especially if there be meat before it.

10th When you Sit down, Keep your Feet firm and Even, without putting one on the other or Crossing them.

11th Shift not yourself in the Sight of others nor Gnaw your nails.

12th Shake not the head, Feet, or Legs rowl not the Eys lift not one eyebrow higher than the other wry not the mouth, and bedew no mans face with your Spittle, by approaching too near him when you Speak.

13th Kill no Vermin as Fleas, lice ticks &c in the Sight of Others, if you See any filth or thick Spittle put your foot Dexteriously upon it if it be upon the Cloths of your Companions, Put it off privately, and if it be upon your own Cloths return Thanks to him who puts it off.

14th Turn not your Back to others especially in Speaking, Jog not the Table or Desk on which Another reads or writes, lean not upon any one.

15th Keep your Nails clean and Short, also your Hands and Teeth Clean yet without Shewing any great Concern for them.

16th Do not Puff up the Cheeks, Loll not out the tongue rub the Hands, or beard, thrust out the lips, or bite them or keep the Lips too open or too Close.

17th Be no Flatterer, neither Play with any that delights not to be Play'd Withal.

18th Read no Letters, Books, or Papers in Company but when there is a Necessity for the doing of it you must ask leave: come not near the Books or Writings of Another so as to read them unless desired or give your opinion of them unask'd also look not nigh when another is writing a Letter.

19th let your Countenance be pleasant but in Serious Matters Somewhat grave.

20th The Gestures of the Body must be Suited to the discourse you are upon.

21st: Reproach none for the Infirmaties of Nature, nor Delight to Put them that have in mind thereof.

22d Shew not yourself glad at the Misfortune of another though he were your enemy.

23d When you see a Crime punished, you may be inwardly Pleased; but always shew Pity to the Suffering Offender.

24th Do not laugh too loud or too much at any Publick Spectacle.

25th Superfluous Complements and all Affectation of Ceremonie are to be avoided, yet where due they are not to be Neglected.

26th In Pulling off your Hat to Persons of Distinction, as Noblemen, Justices, Churchmen &c make a Reverence, bowing more or less according to the Custom of the Better Bred, and Quality of the Person. Amongst your equals expect not always that they Should begin with you first, but to Pull off the Hat when there is no need is Affectation, in the Manner of Saluting and resaluting in words keep to the most usual Custom.

27th Tis ill manners to bid one more eminent than yourself be covered as well as not to do it to whom it's due Likewise he that makes too much haste to Put on his hat does not well, yet he ought to Put it on at the first, or at most the Second time of being ask'd; now what is herein Spoken, of Qualification in behaviour in Saluting, ought also to be observed in taking of Place, and Sitting down for ceremonies without Bounds is troublesome.

28th If any one come to Speak to you while you are are Sitting Stand up tho he be your Inferiour, and when you Present Seats let it be to every one according to his Degree.

29th When you meet with one of Greater Quality than yourself, Stop, and retire especially if it be at a Door or any Straight place to give way for him to Pass.

30th In walking the highest Place in most Countrys Seems to be on the right hand therefore Place yourself on the left of him whom you desire to Honour: but if three walk together the middest Place is the most Honourable the wall is usually given to the most worthy if two walk together.

31st If any one far Surpassess others, either in age, Estate, or Merit yet would give Place to a meaner than himself in his own lodging or elsewhere the one ought not to except it, So he on the other part should not use much earnestness nor offer it above once or twice.

32d: To one that is your equal, or not much inferior you are to give the cheif Place in your Lodging and he to who 'tis offered ought at the first to refuse it but at the Second to accept though not without acknowledging his own unworthiness.

33d They that are in Dignity or in office have in all places Preceedency but whilst they are Young they ought to respect those that are their equals in Birth or other Qualitys, though they have no Publick charge.

34th It is good Manners to prefer them to whom we Speak before ourselves especially if they be above us with whom in no Sort we ought to begin.

35th Let your Discourse with Men of Business be Short and Comprehensive.

36th Artificers & Persons of low Degree ought not to use many ceremonies to Lords, or Others of high Degree but Respect and highly Honour them, and those of high Degree ought to treat them with affibility & Courtesie, without Arrogancy.

37th In Speaking to men of Quality do not lean nor Look them full in the Face, nor approach too near them at lest Keep a full Pace from them.

38th In visiting the Sick, do not Presently play the Physicion if you be not Knowing therein.

39th In writing or Speaking, give to every Person his due Title According to his Degree & the Custom of the Place.

40th Strive not with your Superiers in argument, but always Submit your Judgment to others with Modesty.

41st Undertake not to Teach your equal in the art himself Proffesses; it Savours of arrogancy.

42d Let thy ceremonies in Courtesie be proper to the Dignity of his place with whom thou conversest for it is absurd to act the same with a Clown and a Prince.

43d Do not express Joy before one sick or in pain for that contrary Passion will aggravate his Misery.

44th When a man does all he can though it Succeeds not well blame not him that did it.

45th Being to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to be in publick or in Private; presently, or at Some other time in what terms to do it & in reproving Shew no Sign of Cholar but do it with all Sweetness and Mildness.

46th Take all Admonitions thankfully in what Time or Place Soever given but afterwards not being culpable take a Time & Place convenient to let him him know it that gave them.

47th Mock not nor Jest at any thing of Importance break no Jest that are Sharp Biting and if you Deliver any thing witty and Pleasent abstain from Laughing there at yourself.

48th Wherein wherein you reprove Another be unblameable yourself; for example is more prevalent than Precepts.

49th Use no Reproachfull Language against any one neither Curse nor Revile.

50th Be not hasty to beleive flying Reports to the Disparagement of any.

51st Wear not your Cloths, foul, unript or Dusty but See they be Brush'd once every day at least and take heed that you approach not to any Uncleaness.

52d In your Apparel be Modest and endeavour to accomodate Nature, rather than to procure Admiration keep to the Fashion of your equals Such as are Civil and orderly with respect to Times and Places.

53d Run not in the Streets, neither go too slowly nor with Mouth open go not Shaking yr Arms kick not the earth with yr feet, go not upon the Toes, nor in a Dancing fashion.

54th Play not the Peacock, looking every where about you, to See if you be well Deck't, if your Shoes fit well if your Stokings sit neatly, and Cloths handsomely.

55th Eat not in the Streets, nor in the House, out of Season.

56th Associate yourself with Men of good Quality if you Esteem your own Reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad Company.

57th In walking up and Down in a House, only with One in Company if he be Greater than yourself, at the first give him the Right hand and Stop not till he does and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn let it be with your face towards him, if he be a Man of Great Quality, walk not with him Cheek by Joul but Somewhat behind him; but yet in Such a Manner that he may easily Speak to you.

58th Let your Conversation be without Malice or Envy, for 'tis a Sign of a Tractable and Commendable Nature: And in all Causes of Passion admit Reason to Govern.

59th Never express anything unbecoming, nor Act agst the Rules Moral before your inferiours.

60th Be not immodest in urging your Freinds to Discover a Secret.

61st Utter not base and frivilous things amongst grave and Learn'd Men nor very Difficult Questians or Subjects, among the Ignorant or things hard to be believed, Stuff not your Discourse with Sentences amongst your Betters nor Equals.

62d Speak not of doleful Things in a Time of Mirth or at the Table; Speak not of Melancholy Things as Death and Wounds, and if others Mention them Change if you can the Discourse tell not your Dreams, but to your intimate Friend.

63d A Man ought not to value himself of his Atchievements, or rare Qualities of wit; much less of his riches Virtue or Kindred.

64th Break not a Jest where none take pleasure in mirth Laugh not aloud, nor at all without Occasion, deride no mans Misfortune, tho' there Seem to be Some cause.

65th Speak not injurious Words neither in Jest nor Earnest Scoff at none although they give Occasion.

66th Be not forward but friendly and Courteous; the first to Salute hear and answer & be not Pensive when it's a time to Converse.

67th Detract not from others neither be excessive in Commanding.

68th Go not thither, where you know not, whether you Shall be Welcome or not. Give not Advice without being Ask'd & when desired do it briefly.

69th If two contend together take not the part of either unconstrained; and be not obstinate in your own Opinion, in Things indiferent be of the Major Side.

70th Reprehend not the imperfections of others for that belongs to Parents Masters and Superiours.

71st Gaze not on the marks or blemishes of Others and ask not how they came. What you may Speak in Secret to your Friend deliver not before others.

72d Speak not in an unknown Tongue in Company but in your own Language and that as those of Quality do and not as the Vulgar; Sublime matters treat Seriously.

73d Think before you Speak pronounce not imperfectly nor bring out your Words too hastily but orderly & distinctly.

74th When Another Speaks be attentive your Self and disturb not the Audience if any hesitate in his Words help him not nor Prompt him without desired, Interrupt him not, nor Answer him till his Speech be ended.

75th In the midst of Discourse ask not of what one treateth but if you Perceive any Stop because of your coming you may well intreat him gently to Proceed: If a Person of Quality comes in while your Conversing it's handsome to Repeat what was said before.

76th While you are talking, Point not with your Finger at him of Whom you Discourse nor Approach too near him to whom you talk especially to his face.

77th Treat with men at fit Times about Business & Whisper not in the Company of Others.

78th Make no Comparisons and if any of the Company be Commended for any brave act of Vertue, commend not another for the Same.

79th Be not apt to relate News if you know not the truth thereof. In Discoursing of things you Have heard Name not your Author always A Secret Discover not.

80th Be not Tedious in Discourse or in reading unless you find the Company pleased therewith.

81st Be not Curious to Know the Affairs of Others neither approach those that Speak in Private.

82d undertake not what you cannot perform but be carefull to keep your promise.

83d when you deliver a matter do it without passion & with discretion, however mean the person be you do it too.

84th When your Superiours talk to any Body hearken not neither Speak nor Laugh.

85th In Company of these of Higher Quality than yourself Speak not til you are ask'd a Question then Stand upright put of your Hat & Answer in few words.

86th In Disputes, be not So Desireous to Overcome as not to give Liberty to each one to deliver his Opinion and Submit to the Judgment of the Major Part especially if they are Judges of the Dispute.

87th Let thy carriage be such as becomes a Man Grave Settled and attentive to that which is spoken. Contradict not at every turn what others Say.

88th Be not tedious in Discourse, make not many Digressigns, nor repeat often the Same manner of Discourse.

89th Speak not Evil of the absent for it is unjust.

90th Being Set at meat Scratch not neither Spit Cough or blow your Nose except there's a Necessity for it.

91st Make no Shew of taking great Delight in your Victuals, Feed not with Greediness; cut your Bread with a Knife, lean not on the Table neither find fault with what you Eat.

92d Take no Salt or cut Bread with your Knife Greasy.

93d Entertaining any one at table it is decent to present him wt. meat, Undertake not to help others undesired by the Master.

94th If you Soak bread in the Sauce let it be no more than what you put in your Mouth at a time and blow not your broth at Table but Stay till Cools of it Self.

95th Put not your meat to your Mouth with your Knife in your hand neither Spit forth the Stones of any fruit Pye upon a Dish nor Cast anything under the table.

96th It's unbecoming to Stoop much to ones Meat Keep your Fingers clean & when foul wipe them on a Corner of your Table Napkin.

97th Put not another bit into your Mouth til the former be Swallowed let not your Morsels be too big for the Gowls.

98th Drink not nor talk with your mouth full neither Gaze about you while you are a Drinking.

99th Drink not too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after Drinking wipe your Lips breath not then or Ever with too Great a Noise, for its uncivil.

100th Cleanse not your teeth with the Table Cloth Napkin Fork or Knife but if Others do it let it be done wt. a Pick Tooth.

101st Rince not your Mouth in the Presence of Others.

102d It is out of use to call upon the Company often to Eat nor need you Drink to others every Time you Drink.

103d In Company of your Betters be not longer in eating than they are lay not your Arm but only your hand upon the table.

104th It belongs to the Chiefest in Company to unfold his Napkin and fall to Meat first, But he ought then to Begin in time & to Dispatch with Dexterity that the Slowest may have time allowed him.

105th Be not Angry at Table whatever happens & if you have reason to be so, Shew it not but on a Chearfull Countenance especially if there be Strangers for Good Humour makes one Dish of Meat a Feast.

106th Set not yourself at the upper of the Table but if it Be your Due or that the Master of the house will have it So, Contend not, least you Should Trouble the Company.

107th If others talk at Table be attentive but talk not with Meat in your Mouth.

108th When you Speak of God or his Atributes, let it be Seriously & wt. Reverence. Honour & Obey your Natural Parents altho they be Poor.

109th Let your Recreations be Manfull not Sinfull.

110th Labour to keep alive in your Breast that Little Spark of Celestial fire Called Conscience.

Finis

*Washington, George. Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation: a Book of Etiquette. Williamsburg, VA: Beaver Press, 1971.

I wondered why nobody wished for "happiness" when they were granted 3 wishes by the magic lamp since I was a little kid.  Isn't it the one wish that ends all wishes?  If money makes you happy, or marrying the princess makes you happy, then wouldn't a wish for "happiness" alone grant you not only one but everything that makes you happy.  The characters in the fairy tale are so stupid.

 

Now I realized that I was stupid.  Plus how stupid it is to ask people "Are you happy?"  Happiness is not being happy all the time.  It is made up of many little moments.  If we are always happy and have everything that we ever wished for, then can we still feel "happy"?  I appreciate life for for the fact that I won't always get everything I want so I am happy with what I have, for the fact that the people I love and care about can't be with me forever so I am happy when I am with them, and recognition of the fact that there is a trade off to everything.  I am truly happy. 

I'm suffering from jet lag having got off the plane just last night.  It was as good trip.  However, I still can't seem to shake off the images from the trip and "gwai gwai" go to bed knowing that I have a looming work deadline tomorrow.  It's hard to focus on work.  The things I used to care about seem so petty in light of the so-called "life." 

 

The one images that keeps reappearing in my mind is the feet of the person who died on the street.  It was on our way from Zu Zhou, a small town in China, to the airport.  Our taxi was stopped in the mid of the mountain road.  A man had died from a hit and run accident not too long ago.  His body was set on the street covered in "grass or bamboo sheets."  The people were stopping cars to ask for money in order to bury him.  I didn't know what was going on (country ppl's dialect is very hard to comprehend) until the taxi driver started the car again and told us about it.  I saw his feet right when I glanced out of the window. 

 

Just a couple days ago, I was told of my friend's experience having a 600 to 700 US dollars fish hot pot dinner for 4 in Bejing, and here, a poor man died without enough money for burial.  Needless to say, life is so fragile.  What is more shocking is the contrast.  It was so sad.  We really are very lucky...  Other than appreciating what we have, when will this kind of tragedies stop happening and the gap between the poor and the rich close up?  Beijing and Shanghai are one of the most modernized cities in the world; yet, there are houses in the countryside without running water.  There are houses like that in many other countries in the world.  I feel horrible for having the desire for beautiful purses, for not finishing food that I order at restaurants, and for sweating about the little things in life. 

 

 

I met Lucy last Saturday and surprisingly discovered that we have so much in common...  It's like meeting your twin in another species.  Her favorite to-dos are:  sleeping, eating, and being petted (ok, this one is not so much in common).  She's also afraid of coldness.  Her favorite past-time is sleeping in the warmest piece of floor where the sun shines at (she's got the sun's movement during the day all figured out).  The only thing she would put efforts into is how to live spending the least amount of energy.  She rarely barks...  moves slowly except when playing fetch...  would refuse to play fetch when she's sleepy.  When she's forced to make choices, you can see the complicated calculus differential equation running in her head deciding whether to:  take 2 steps for cheese but not hungry, 3 steps to get petted at a cold place, or staying where I am - warm and comfy. 

I did my second mentoring session, which was supposed to be very fulfilling.  I took my mentee, one of the cutest girl on earth, to the discovery center.

 

I was a little bit in shock when I learned that what she's most interested in was the jewlries at the Discovery Center gift shop.  What I was more in shock about is that she directly picked several items and asked me to get them for her.  And at the end of the day, she told me that she didn't like me as much because I didn't buy her anything.

 

Of course the mentoring program was not a "giving program."  It is a program for both the mentor and mentee to spend time and learn together.  I was prepared to put in time and care, money of course (admission tickets, ice cream & etc,.) but was a little caught off guard with her attitude.

 

I was more saddened by her values.  I took the time to extend the session and was late to my afterwards plans.  I wanted to explain to her that...  Firstly, money doesn't come from the "bank" (her answer), you have to earn it.  Secondly, even if people buy you gifts, it doesn't necessarily mean that they truly care.  What's important is that people really care about you and put in the time.  Thirdly, even if people buy you gifts, it doesn't necessarily mean they are nice to you.  I get scared of when she gets older and go to junior high/high school, what would happen when boys buy her gifts.  I hope she understood what I told her.  At the end of the day, she's only a 5-year old.

 

So what truly is money's worth?  Even my friends feel that I like working, but the honest truth is that I don't (hope my boss can never read my blog). 

 

My other friend asked me the other day what I really liked to do.  I told her that I've always wanted to be a writer.  A dream that I had long forgotten, I truly want to own a bookstore/flower shop.  Those are the two items I love the most in the world.  The first time I went to "creek head" in Taiwan when I was 8, I thought that it was heaven.  I would be so happy spending my life with flowers and plants...and be creative in books.

 

So why am I spending so much time working and forgetting so many other things in life...  It's because I don't want to sacrifice my dignity because of money.  I want to be able to support myself independently so that I can make my choices without consideration of money.  How can I tell her that you should never ask anyone for anything (except for your parents...  I have to sheepishly admit that I am a daddy's girl)...  Girl, you are priceless.